cheap portable studio project

made this pic tonight. I dont have a pro digital and i didn't feel like shooting film cause i wanted instant feedback - so i had to set my point and shoot digital up to trigger my off camera flash with its own flash. I taped aluminum foil to the cameras flash to bounce it up into a light sensor i had on a stand just above the camera's tripod. that sensor was connected with a cable to a vivitar flash on another stand which is the one that you see making the light in the picture.

the vivitar was set on automatic at f2. and had a home made snoot around it to control the flood of the light. the snoot was made out of a brown lunch bag, aluminum foil and scotch tape. the foil was placed on the outside to further block the light and help shape the snoot.

I used a microphone boom stand for the main flash. This is a new technique for me of late. It's able to reach out and over a subject and put a light down onto the subject from above - but in this case i dind't need it for that.

note - sometimes when using optical slave triggers, i use aluminum foil to gather light into the sensor if its not firing right. Also - i use aluminum foil for another thing... when i use an automatic flash into a reflective umbrella, i mount the flash with the thyristor sensor facing the subject but i point the flash tube straight up and divert the light with the foil evenly into the umbrella. This way, the thyristor does its job and the light is generaly exposed the way it should be.

All of these techniques are somewhat untested as of now - and i have a ways to go before i know how they will act with my manual film camera

-the digital camera i used here was $150 at walmart on close out - 5mp pentax
-the flash was maybe $50
-the stands are about $30
-the slave sensor $15
-flash adapter for stand - $15
-plus batteries, and the foil and bags and tape

-cheap portable studio $265

lyrics - brown machine

im livin in a brown machine
down by the river boat queen
my daddy says im lazy
my momma thinks im crazy
my baby's just a worried bout me
cause im a livin in a brown machine

i used to wake up in my mommas house
round about 4 pm
but i started having trouble feelin proud
thats when i started makin my plans

i cleaned out the back of my ranger ford
grabbed my army bag and i walked out the door

im livin in a brown machine
down by the river boat queen
my daddy says im lazy
my momma thinks im crazy
my baby's just a worried bout me
cause im a livin in a brown machine

i traded in my computer to a friend
and got an old canoe
Now I take a shower in the waterfall
and in the woods i take a poo

When im in need of some dollar bills
i pack it up and i head for the hills cause im

im livin in a brown machine
down by the river boat queen
my daddy says im lazy
my momma thinks im crazy
my baby's just a worried bout me
cause im a livin in a brown machine

lyrics - too much

too much information
your not a friend
to those that sin

too much hesitation
now that youve seen
the truth in me

now i dont even care anymore
those girls dont seem aware anymore
and everyones so paranoid
of filth
they see it in each eye and hear it in each
word

I met you in a dirty club with naked all around
you said you knew that we were meant to meet
you knew because your voises told you so

and then i spoke - you said that i should never hesitate
with things i say - you love to hear the truth
you want to scrape my brain
you sounded very strange

and even tho i warned you - i said you'll probably be
just like the rest of the... deep but oh so weak
you ran into the traffic - not knowing that your bones
are not the type of things to stand up to a
bumper of a ten ton truck a double layer bus
stop me if you've heard this one before

too much information
your not a friend
to those that sin

too much hesitation
now that youve seen
the truth in me

now i dont even care anymore
those girls dont seem aware anymore
and everyones so paranoid
of filth
they see it in each eye and hear it in each
word

why do you advertise your fishnet wares
why do you verbalize distaste for squares
but then you cross the line
from yours to mine
and see im out of line
and you say - I'll be over here

too much...

lyrics - nothing blues

tomorrow didn't happen (D, C)
there's no need to fear (D, C)
in fact its almost over (Gmaj7)
cause its already here (...G, C7)
nothing left to do (F#m7, Bm7)
but sing and play the blues (

what good's it gonna do me
to think about my past
i should have known the darkess
was never gonna last
nothing left to do
but sing and play the blues

and i stop by every room
listen for that happy tune
my ear right up against the door
but i can't hear the sound no more

so i'm lost for for words today
and i'm left imagining
whats on the other side
of this cosmic comedy
left me with nothing to do
but sit and sing the blues (Gmaj Dmaj7)

so i'm lost for for words today
appologize if i hesitate
i'm just preoccupied
with all this empty space
and nothing left to do
(E/G#, Gm6)
sit here and sing the(D, A)
blues (rest, F, Bb, Eb, D)

lyrics - leaking life

she makes her home from trash she finds
its hers alone no colors ryhme
she's seen me lose all hope and strength
shes seen me lose all faith in me

but she aint known the worst of me
and how it ends yet to be seen
all times before when things went wrong
abandon hopes and carry on

but now i'm tied my head is fixed
on foolish hearts and ugly tricks

the wine removes my shooting nerves
i work the clay I'm undisturbed

i'll shape IT into just a man
without a friend without a plan

I'll shape it as an empty cup
a broken jar that won't fill up

she makes her home from things like these
i throw them out and she retrieves
she makes her home from scratch and dent
THE shapes she finds don't compliment

and AS i'm broken leaking life
no wonder she can't pass me by

her finger prints are on my rim
her lipstick arche is pink and dim

and so i find my place of fame
here pierced and pinned her wall of shame

And once again i lose the game
before i knew i ever played

The cards i knew are rearanged
The mirrors on the wall have changed

lyrics - charity

Because you'll
(C) give me anything
but you (Cmaj7) wont accept the same
oh (f) what am i to (G) you
a case of (C)charity

because you'll
feel inside your heart
and you'll think inside your brain
you owe it to me to
take good care of me

what about my feelings of pride
that you should be familiar with
and what of all my complex insecurities
that you should be familiar with
just as well
yes i'm
sure you're familiar with all of these

you say you want for me
to be happy and free
but that doens't make up for
how blind you can be

and still you carry on
with your kissy face and charm
and your sad when im not laughing
and not feeling warm

when i ask you what you want from me
i'd like to hear you just want me
but then the words as
light as anchors falling from an iron ship
crash around and shake me to the bone
its up to me whats that supposed to mean?..............................

Because you'll (C) give me anything
but you (Cmaj7) wont accept the same
oh (f) what am i to (G) you
a man with leprosy?

because you'll
feel inside your heart
and you'll think inside your brain
you owe it to me to
bandage up my wounds

what about my feelings of pride
that you should be familiar with
and what of all my complex insecurities
that you should be familiar with
just as well
yes i'm
sure you're familiar with all of these

lyrics - hate

hates a strong word
but i'm a strong man
i hate the way you breath
and i hate the way you stand

i guess its just today
so i dont do nothing really
cause if i killed you now i'm sure
tomorrow id feel silly

I'll come visit you at your grave
And I know I'll cry on that day

you say im a light
but i've got an ugly side
It just woulnd't be right
if i try to hide

the fact that in my heart
I've killed a thousand smiles
I've torn a world apart
i've left a trail for miles

I'll come visit you at your grave
And I know I'll cry on that day

i wish youd die so i
could continue life without
my heart preoccupied
with carving yours right out

so i'll adjust my step
and just draw a simple line
i'll just wish you away
while i smile into your eyes

I'll come visit you at your grave
And I know I'll cry on that day

hates a strong word
but i'm a big strong man
i hate the way you breath
and i hate the way you stand

i guess its just today
so i dont do nothing really
cause if i killed you now i'm sure
tomorrow id feel silly

lyrics - it was me

I carved a word into my skin
5 months and still it tells me to forgive
I burned a mark into my arm
It took my place and kept me out of harm

I think sometimes the problems me
The more I face the facts the more I see
I blamed the people in my world
Even before I cracked my form was fracturing

--

and now
you're finishing your song
to bring
somewhere where you're not wrong

and i forgive you - for the words I've said in vain
and i forgive you - for each time I cursed your name
and i forgive you - for the things i didn't trust
and i forgive you - for the dreams i turned to rust

because now the more i face all of the facts i can see
it was me - it was me

I don't suppose i'm worried now
at least today i dont see any clouds
Today's the right day for a change
to pick your life up and begin to rearange

and take up sanctuary where
the eastern shore can carry all your dirt away
maybe you'll find a family there
or just a place where you can start your life again

And I'll
work hard to make the trip
For sure
Now that I have come to grips

and i forgive you - for the words I've said in vain
and i forgive you - for each time I cursed your name
and i forgive you - for the things i didn't trust
and i forgive you - for the dreams i turned to rust

because now the more i face all of the facts i can see
it was me - it was me

lyrics - better than you

you want so badly not to be the same
the same as you've been most every day
you want so badly but you never change
you try and cry and never get your way

you've got a magic cure
a pill of sadness you're concealing
a sure and cirtain way
to keep your friends from ever feeling

better than you
and happier than you
I never knew
just what i got into

I dont even want to say
all the things that make me feel like this
i dont even want to believe
you could treat me like a common thief

i'm no better than you
no happier than you
when i'm with you
no other way will do

you say you want me to smile
you tickle me for a while
i laugh and i act like a child
even tho its not my style

when i'm with you - whenever i'm with you
i never know - what i'm allowed to do

cause times when i've been feelin ok
which aren't a lot of times these days
its obvious to me that you try
to kick me down to where you think i am no

better than you - or happier than you
i never knew - just what i got into

you tell me not to chase my dreams to high
and then you wonder why you see me cry
you tell me not to love myself too much
and then you wonder why i want to die


am i better than you? or happier than you
now you can do whatever you want to

you can just do whatever you want to
you'll do it without me
thats how you want it to be thats how you want it to be
well thats the way it will be

lyrics - hard all over

i can tell you're looking at yourself more in the mirror
wondering why the swords and guns are drawing ever nearer
did i eat a time bomb now thats ticking ever clearer
did mother nature warm me and i just refused to hear her?

look around
things are hard all over
in the town
things are hard all over baby
holy ground
things are hard all over
settle down
let your mind be sober

this is what you're asking to this stranger called yourself
and we are ships in passing tho the same cold waters felt
drops of acid splashing it can make an anchor melt
but before you go on blaming you or me do something else

look around
things are hard all over
in the town
things are hard all over baby
holy ground
things are hard all over
settle down
let your mind be sober

bridge

screaming at me and carryin on crying
taking flowers from a man whos dying
where was i when you needed me?
well i sure wasn't getting my kicks from watchin you bleed

lyrics - last year

last year
was the longest year of my life
it rained last year
and now it seems it hasn't rained for 5

in old recordings i hear the rain inside my voice
echoing its drops in empty rooms with windows that wont shut
tears i cried so much there's nothing left to cry
now theres just an artificial sky
just an artificial sky

life was simple
i was free
to find the darker side of me
i could have run away
but not this time
i just stood there in the rain

with my guitar slung over my left shoulder
i'd cry my songs in the dark with candles and with smoke
i was trying to say something i'd never felt before

i'm like a buzzy bug
attracted to the motion
when the music stops my heart stops
and im tryin to fly inside the candle

such a fine release
i feel much lighter now ive said my peice
thank god my head is aching now
its just the thing to keep me down
humble like the dust
or else id fly like up to the east
and you would miss me so and want to go
but we are both here on the ground

last year
was the longest year of my life
it rained last year
and now it seems it hasn't rained for 5

last year
was the longest year of my life
it rained last year
and now it seems it hasn't rained for 5

it rained last year
and now it seems it hasn't rained for 5

it rained last year
and now it seems it hasn't rained for 5

lyrics - perfect

playfully you run from me
in the middle of the street
smiling dimples on your cheeks
just until i wake from sleep

drop my hat and sing a song
there's no doubt where i belong
eyes are closed and notes are strong
till i wake there's nothing wrong

even bad is turned to good
late again you knew i would
save it any way i could
imaginary neighborhood

reaching for elusive hips
just beyond seductive grips
then you free me with your lips
touch me with your fingertips

when i dream you know im there
searching for me everywhere
you remember where I've been
you know I'll be there again

covered by the years of time
forgotten what used to be mine
piano strings all out of rhyme
take a hold and give a wind

lyrics - sunday paper

with every helping hand i give to be a better man
theres a dozen helping hands that try to push me to my death again
and when i help myself apart from brother on the right
stripped naked of my pride put under condescending lights

(qrt rest) break it down mr sunday paper
what have you done with our mother nature
if only both of you could live together
we probably woulnd't need a sunday paper at all

you think you save the world each time you put me in a cage
i'm prodded poked injected with a new anamalistic rage
my individuality and freedom was my light
you took these both away now i am just an empty paper page

there's fear around the corner so you better stay inside
and watch the news, sitcoms when you've done your 9-5
we'll keep you up to date with everything you need to know
there's brand new growing scientific evidence that we are right

(qrt rest) break it down mr sunday paper
what have you done with our mother nature
if only both of you could live together
we probably woulnd't need a sunday paper at all

bridge



(qrt rest) break it down mr sunday paper
what have you done with our mother nature
if only both of you could live together
we probably woulnd't need a sunday paper at all

comment - silly things

this is about when you get depressed from locking yourself away in the house

it makes matters worse a lot of times

this is meant to be a fun song

lyrics - silly things

We forget the silliest things
when we're alone
what possesses one man to think
all on his own

I just need to find a different rout
I got half a mind to figure it out
A Half hearted effort is all i can give
A half ass job is my 100 percent

won't you please permit me to be
a bit incomplete
(V-)if you leave I'll be lost at sea
An (IV) island of grief

The sun is shining but I'm declining
to answer any calls
cause i forget that anyone cares for me
at all

comment - hollywood hustle

this was about a time i lived in hollywood

lyrics - hollywood hustle

its the hollywood hustle
such a recipe
you must rise up early
just to find a place to sleep

business and pleasure
always at your feet
the rich the poor ill tell you more
but soon we'll go to sleep

everything is free
to the man who has the key
get a months supply
from the doctor down the street

sell it on the side
cash it in each week
let you know some secrets
sit a while and talk to me

its the hollywood hustle
such a recipe
you must rise up early
just to find a place to sleep

business and pleasure
always at your feet
the rich the poor ill tell you more
but soon we'll go to sleep

if you spill the wine
you'll pay a hefty fine
and if you spill your drink
it'll make you stop and think

and if you wear a hat
don't set it on the bar
and if you wera a scarf
dont set it in a car

its the hollywood hustle
such a recipe
you must rise up early
just to find a place to sleep

business and pleasure
always at your feet
the rich the poor ill tell you more
but soon we'll go to sleep

if you meet a girl
dressed in dark attire
sing to her a song
and you will feel a fire

if her hair is red
and her back is turned to you
with her feet a spread
then she is hungry too

its the hollywood hustle
such a recipe
you must rise up early
just to find a place to sleep

business and pleasure
always at your feet
the rich the poor ill tell you more
but soon we'll go to sleep

if you meet a man
that gives you anything
run fast as you can
when he turns his ring

if you get a room
make sure you keep it neet
you never know when you
must keep your way descrete

its the hollywood hustle
such a recipe
you must rise up early
just to find a place to sleep

business and pleasure
always at your feet
the rich the poor ill tell you more
but soon we'll go to sleep

comment - i'm up

this song is about not being able to sleep... and the reasons why

i have more than one song mentioning that

lyrics - i'm up

i'm up when the sun goes down
im up when it comes back around
im up when i think about leaving this town
im up to no good when nobodies around

tell me have you seen that freight train run
rollin through the night stopping for noone
shinin that light like a snow white gun
engine as black as the devils son


folks ask me where i been this year
folks ask me why'd i dissapear
i woulnd't answer cause they coulnd't hear
my sentiments would fall on wooden ears

my heads got an achin pain
feels like somethings in my brain
black suspenders and a walkin cane
grey hat in the pourin rain

comment - midnight snow

this song used to be called vaudeville

then i added a part to the end.

it took a year to write

comment - studio apartment

this one is about me - of course

i hardly ever have a place of my own - and when i do - its temporary

there's a lot of little specific pictures in this song that i have gathered from parts of my life

lyrics - studio apartment

sittin watchin tv in our favorite underware
blue electric shadows casting here and there and everywhere
that noisy wall unit kickin out tons of cold air
sleepin on the kitchen floor next to reupolstered chair

studio apartment
if you want dreams we got a
limited assortment
we got hot water and electricity to power anything
for hours while it rains on 7th avenue

(licks)spent my money in the bar
no car lost my metro pass
atm is out but my guitar
will make some money fast

movie house playing
flash gordon silent flicks
with a banjo boy
soundtrack jazz licks

iron door rusty hinges
peep hole who is it
in the back through a crack
smell the afrodisiac

blade of grass growing strong
concrete jungle home
in the sky birds fly
in a geodesic dome

studio apartment
if you want dreams we got a
limited assortment
we got hot water and electricity to power anything
for hours while it rains on 7th avenue (extra measure)

make a choice sheep goat
blue collar white coat
gotta be one cause you
can not be both (soft B7 chord)

closed down all around
city been crackin down
real life bein drowned
poverties a crime now

fire code whats that
run down theres a rat
powers out foods bad
will i be a new dad

pressing on the cieling
not impressed with what im feeling
running out of ways of dealing
as the sands of time are spilling on my

studio apartment
if you want dreams we got a
limited assortment
we got hot water and electricity to power anything
for hours while it rains on 7th avenue (extra measure)

kicked out hand to mouth
last dollar ran out
keep it positive cause you
have to live without a doubt

closed down all around
city been crackin down
real life bein drowned
poverties a crime now

fell asleep on the train
end of the line again
red hook black jack
pillow case back packS

dreamin of a paradise
hungry for a little slice
place that you can call your own
if you could just go back home

studio apartment
if you want dreams we got a
limited assortment
we got hot water and electricity to power anything
for hours while it rains on 7th avenue (extra measure)

lyrics - midnight snow

the velvet curtain rose and you appeared
the center of the world
a sinner of a girl

when im alone i want you
you're moving on now aren't you
i just have been to blind to see

here in my heart youre still the girl that gave me everything
i'm just the boy that made your vaudeville play a tradgedy

opening night it was something for the world to see
then before god and everyone -
it came crashing on our heads

and there you are
and here i am
my light is on
its 4 am

you come inside
lay down and rest
your hands are cold
upon my chest

but i dont move
because i know in time
they will be as warm as mine

the third cold winter knocks upon my door
to take what still exists
the other two have missed

still there you are
still here i am
my light is on
but growing dim

i call to you
you call to me
i'd come to you
if i could see

but all the trails
i used to know
are beneath this midnight snow

comment - dead angel

this song is a very simple song
meant to focus on the lyrics
and meant to be very broken hearted

the picture is of a man
keeping a dead girl in his home
a girl he never knew
a girl he found in the woods

he loves her tho she is dead.
and he wants her to love him back

somehow...

even if he has to die to meet her true soul

lyrics - dead angel

my dead angel
fell from the sky
i guess dead angels
can not fly

oh dead angel
sent from above
i learned too late
you cannot love

found you when you tripped and fell
struck your head upon that well

oh dead angel
oh my dear
kissed you once
and tasted fear

touched you once
when darkness fell
now there's no heaven
and there's no hell

can you hear with bleeding ears
can you taste my lonely tears

oh my only
love and friend
wish we'd met
before the end

oh my beauty
quiet and cold
i will love you
till i'm old

young and fair so lilly white
found you in the darkest night

oh dead angel
shall i go
leave your body
here below

shall i dig
and lay you down
bury you
beneath the ground

oh dead angel without wings
bitter sweet to you i sing

even when i'm
on my own
shadows say
i'm not alone

if you're here
then sing to me
break this spell
and set me free

oh dead angel without wings
bitter sweet to you i sing

comments - the river is wide

this one is about not being able to sleep very well at all
thinkin of shannon
having to lie to myself
that we are not utterly apart

because we are...

but i coulnd't deal with that...

lyrics - full moon tide

i tried to go to bed
now its wine and cigarettes
i tried my best to rest my head
now im up again instead

its not so bad
i simply need to bridge the gap
i can't replace it but
but I'll find some things
to mend and tie and wrap

i can see your eyes but the channell is wide
won't you help me make it to the opposite side
the bridges are burned and the water is high
there's a cold strong wind there's a full moon tide

until it looks like any other bridge
altho it holds no weight at all
i'll be at ease while i believe
i can aproach you and not fall

its better off if i stay here
because the water holds i fear
reflections of someone who isn't
meant to be on your side

i can see your eyes but the channell is wide
won't you help me make it to the opposite side
the bridges are burned and the water is high
there's a cold strong wind there's a full moon tide

i'll stay away
and just hide another day
all the while I'll make beleive
there's a bridge from you to me

i can see your eyes but the channell is wide
won't you help me make it to the opposite side
the bridges are burned and the water is high
there's a cold strong wind there's a full moon tide

comments - late train blues

this is about how my life is spent comin home ont he late train
and how im the last one to rise
and the last to go home
im like that late train - im strong and i come in just in time - but right at the last minute.

lyrics - late train blues

A man my age
is supposed to settle down
work a 9-5 lord
paying rent someplace in town

business on the side
keeping records paying taxes
tan socks to match his alligator sheos
but i aint got nothing but the

late train blues
every night i go astray
i get a break each morning
then i throw it all away

Too often i been choosin
to drink coffee while im losing
half the day

I'm still a spring chicken
but the field is ripe for pickin anyways
hidin eggs around thanksgivin
giving gifts around the first of may

i wake up at 2
the banks close down at 4 pm 2x
'time i get my coffee
my two hours done been spent

late train blues
every night i go astray
i get a break each morning
then i throw it all away

Too often i been choosin
to drink coffee while im losing
half the day

comments - little guitar

nothin much to say

i love this song cause its very rootsy and artsy with a very strong blues vibe

i love the questions and answer in the guitar and vocal parts.

i love the vocal range and the plaintive quality in the voice i use

lyrics - little guitar

come here little guitar
jump on my knee
i'm in the mood to play a tune on you

come here little guitar
right now right now
i don't care if its up or if its down

i could climb inside you
ride you downt he byou
to my babie's doorstep

i know that she wont mind
i know that she wont mind

come here little guitar
you love me so
my finger nails are scratching down your strings

come here little guitar
you're part of me
bought you with cash and these blues don't come for free

take you too my front porch
tap my foot and sing
keep it simple baby

you know youre good to me
you're so good to me

comments - both the same

i think i wrote this song in reaction to a fight i had with loriann

it talks about how any time you are disgusted with someone else its because you are first disgusted with yourself

it also talks about how instead of promising i will rise above it, i am human and when i am in a desparate time - i will act mean.

comments - restaurant window

this song is about walking along and seing a girl out the corner of my eye who looks like shannon..

and it gives me this feeling she is there within reach...

but its not her of course not...

but even so - i have to remind myself she is far away

lyrics - restaurant window

i still think of you
every day
even though our love is through
i just
can't send you away

in fact just a day ago
i saw you through a restaurant window
in the shape of someone else
i had to stop and correct myself

silly you're so far away
across the country anyway
how could it be possible
to see you in a restaurant window

the chilly air blows through my hair
i get those goose bumps everywhere
just like i feel when you aren't there
each time i take a second glare

at someone who goes passig by
i think its you i dont know why
i'll always take
a second look
even to a stranger
through a restaurant window

comments - ice breaker

this song is for davina

it sings about someone who comes along
and sees that i am frozen in ice
and she helps me to become free again

thanks davina.

also - perfect is about davina

lyrics - ice breaker

ice breaker
you know how to get beneath me
soul shaker
shake me slow till im in deeply

together
fit as tho we're undevided
your feathers
blend with mine now we're united

oh - please dont tell me where we go
dont ask me if i want to know
just take me by my crazy hands
catch me in your undertow

the others pushed and pulled at me
and some have tried to burn me free
some thought they'd beat it out of me
some thought the hammer was the key

my savior
from this side there is no handle
ice breaker
free me from this clear enamel

oh - if i was a butterfly would you capture me of all the
butterflies you see - would i be special
would you name me
would you let me go to see if i'd come back
and would you change your mind
and run my way
while holdng up your hands and say

come down come down
come down come down
come down come down
come down

come back come back
from far away
come back come back
i want you to stay
come back come back
to where i stay come back

ice breaker - you know how to get beneath me
etc

please dont tell me etc

etc

comments - friends

i like this song - but im not sure if anyone gets it.

each verse is basically like this...

it states something that sounds kind and then reinterprets it as something bothersome.

this song is about someone who sees the giid of friends but realizes there is also just as much bad - and in the end he realizes its better than having no friends at all - even tho friends are a real burden

lyrics - friends

friends are for
slamming doors
you're runnig to0wards
then you smach to the floor

friends are land
like a pool of sand
you think you can stand
the you're throwing hands

friends are a light
like a burst of light
and when it strikes
you loose your site

friends are high
up in my sky
blocking my
sweet sun that shines

and now i know this much at last
im growing cold but strong and fast

friends are alone
like a stepping stone
and when you've grown
they are physically gone

friends are fast
like a blade of grass
when you give it the gas
they split right in half

and now i know
this much is true
i'm growing cold
but missing you

friends show up
when you give up
and help you up
and keep you up

and make you good
and keep you good
make you feel good
sometimes really good

and now i know this much at last
im growing cold but strong and fast

and now i know this much is true
im growing shy and missing you

comments - polite hellos

verse one is about my friend john

verse two is about my girlfriend at the time's mom

verse three is about church

lyrics - polite hellos

i let the phone ring when you call
i dont pick up at all
for 14 years we used to talk
and then a fatal brawl

and i can't help you anymore
there's no reason to ignore
nothing is worth saving now
i'm gonna throw in the towel

polite hellos to those fellows
thats how it goes everyone knows
deep down inside its only pride
that makes us hide the mess inside

find it in your heart to say goodby
the reservoire is dry

the mother of a girl of mine won't talk without some wine
and when she does she cannot hide resentment in her life

she is not a happy wife
she wants to change her daughters life
even if it comes to mean
putting lies in apple pies

polite hello's to those fellows...
...is dry

the big top came to town one day
and i was only 10
i walk the tightrope end to end
up in the circus tent

say they really need me now
to be an average clown
if i leave the carnival
i'll never work in that town

polite...

comments - eyes that don't see you

this song was written on a day when i went to wash my clothes down the street from where i lived.

i was very sad about shannon leaving me - etc.

so i wrote about it... and this song reflects that day.

etc etc etc

lyrics - eyes that don't see you

you ask me to leave so i leave and you say that im
running away again - running away again
ask me to stay so i stay and say baby now
please can we not pretend please can we not pretend

you're a girl full of emotion
your songs flow out like melted rocks
pictures dash easily out of you
while you're wearing my best firends
socks that i gave him socks that i gave him

sitting here waiting for my clothes to dry
i tried to call you this morning - call you this morning
my soul was along staring at the sky
feels like you left withut warning - left without warning
this time - time wasn't on my side
i guess you don't care about time
the one's you called friends were more dear to you
you took their advice and the heart that i gave you
the heart that i gave you

now both the pay phones that i could find both took my
shiney new quarters - my shiney new quarters
i took the reciever and beat them up
may they bare fruit never more
bare fruit never more
now all my clothes must be getting dry
i can't say the same for my
eyes that don't see you
my eyes that don't see you

comment - shannon's song

this song was written at the peak of my break up with shannon.

it's not easy to talk about cause its a big song for me and very personal

i also think it speaks for itself very well.

most of the song was based off of my time spent in vegas as a homeless person as is also the case with "you're own religeon"

but here, we have talk of resting beneath the stars... means being homeless in vegas.

but its a happy song in a way its me - a man - resolved to see the beauty in life - as he always has. This was an early break up song - and i never was able to hang on to that positive look - i have lost it and now im more than bitter - im disgusting. This is about 2 years later and i have relieved the past every day since.

The part about spinning like mud on a potter's wheel is about her being young - and needing space and time to grow - i thought we'd get back together - but after this song was written - she fucked my best friend..

ok!

on to the next song on the list

lyrics - shannon's song

one night while resting beneath the stars
on a summer's night I recall
having no place i should be
having no possesions none great or small

I was happier then than I've been in a thousand moments since
All the stars and the sea and the moon were my guide
and my dearest friends

one night while walking away from
all of the safety of the town
filled with the thrill of remote places
and fears of what waits when the sun goes down

it seems we're always stuck
in a wheel of what we think is moving on
we're just running in place while each day
one more chance is already gone

i met a girl just like my while
singing the few songs i felt i knew
she sang along for a while
we never knew where we were going to

now shes spinning like mud on a potter's wheel
and i have no right
to be near her and touch her
while she's once again being born alive

just to be honest with you
i sat down to write all about a girl
but with each detail i kinew
there's no making sense of her in the world

as i find my way back all alone
to the places i understand
I'll wish often that time could just freeze me in place
while i hold her hand

Comments - when you don't believe

This song is like most of my songs - about my x. I used to write these songs when i'd feel frustrated with her. I found her to be very pesimistic but she would never admit she was. But It was clear to me that she didn't believe that she was worth anything in this life.

She did have her pretend life in her head where she felt value. I thought she was wonderful and talented and lovely - but she seemed to constantly hate herself - even with in the presence of a true admiring fan like me. And so as this song states - you hurt the ones who believe in you when you dont believe in yourself.

eventually - she decided i viewed her as a digusting creature and stuck to her same habit of self sabotoge. Now she misses me - but i dont know if she still feels like a disgusting person in the eyes of others. I'm sure she loves herself - i mean i can relate to liking who i am - but feeling worthless in the eyes of my peers... so i know that routine...

on to the next song...

Lyrics - when you don't believe

when you dont believe in yourself
you hurt the ones who believe in you
you didn't believe in yourself or that
another could be true

but when you do
could you be
with someone like me
for all eternity

I don't care whether they say one day
it all will fade away
I want what's left of us
before we also end out stay

but until that day
think of all the sunshiny rays
think of all the sunshiny rays

why do you still keep those cats
you love me more but im out the door
why do you buy me these hats
is it to keep the rain out of my eyes
while i'm sleeping under cloudy skies?

when you dont believe in yourself
you hurt the ones who believe in you
you didn't believe in yourself or that
another could be true

but when you do
could you be
with someone like me
for all eternity

my song list

Welcome to this strange list of musical oddessy... I have not updated this in a long time and i have much new material to place here. It'll be fun - (april 3 2007)

lyr|mp3|comment - when you don't believe
lyr|mp3|comment - shannon's song
lyr|mp3|comment - eyes that don't see you
lyr|mp3|comment - polite hellos
lyr|mp3|comment - friends
lyr|mp3|comment - my camera
lyr|mp3|comment - comfortable
lyr|mp3|comment - sweater
lyr|mp3|comment - whiskey girl
lyr|mp3|comment - crazy eyes
lyr|mp3|comment - boring girl
lyr|mp3|comment - in a restaurant window
lyr|mp3|comment - letters
lyr|mp3|comment - matters
lyr|mp3|comment - studio apartment
lyr|mp3|comment - scattered
lyr|mp3|comment - ice breaker
lyr|mp3|comment - dragonfly
lyr|mp3|comment - your own religeon
lyr|mp3|comment - yellow ribbon
lyr|mp3|comment - arizona
lyr|mp3|comment - i can't do it
lyr|mp3|comment - both the same
lyr|mp3|comment - late train blues
lyr|mp3|comment - little guitar
lyr|mp3|comment - whats the name of your sun
lyr|mp3|comment - what i saw in the dark
lyr|mp3|comment - fourteen
lyr|mp3|comment - art immitates life
lyr|mp3|comment - it was me
lyr|mp3|comment - come undone
lyr|mp3|comment - nothing blues
lyr|mp3|comment - front porch blues
lyr|mp3|comment - hard all over
lyr|mp3|comment - hate
lyr|mp3|comment - river
lyr|mp3|comment - brown machine
lyr|mp3|comment - dead angel
lyr|mp3|comment - leaking life
lyr|mp3|comment - little gifts
lyr|mp3|comment - spin shine
lyr|mp3|comment - blue heart blues
lyr|mp3|comment - too much
lyr|mp3|comment - midnight snow
lyr|mp3|comment - im up
lyr|mp3|comment - hollywood hustle
lyr|mp3|comment - perfect love
lyr|mp3|comment - better than you
lyr|mp3|comment - bravo
lyr|mp3|comment - serial killer
lyr|mp3|comment - last year
lyr|mp3|comment - somewhere beyond
lyr|mp3|comment - essence
lyr|mp3|comment - chance
lyr|mp3|comment - full moon tide
lyr|mp3|comment - sunday paper
lyr|mp3|comment - rails
lyr|mp3|comment - thinkin' about new jersey
lyr|mp3|comment - charity
lyr|mp3|comment - silly things
lyr|mp3|comment - I'm not here to be pretty
lyr|mp3|comment - homeless preacher blues
lyr|mp3|comment - bomb shell blues
lyr|mp3|comment - safer place
lyr|mp3|comment - davids house
lyr|mp3|comment - accidentally happy
lyr|mp3|comment - old black

lyrics - both the same

There's a piece of me
That you're not allowed to see
There's a part of you
That I'm not allowed to view

But they're both the same
But they're both the same

we pull each other downt he drain
don't let me go... alone anyway
I dont care if its right or wrong
I just can't help but i'm pleading in this song

And our DNA
is put together the same way
And our garbage men
each come on alternating days

And we're both the same
And we're both the same

we pull each other downt he drain
don't let me go... alone anyway
I dont care if its right or wrong
I just can't help but i'm pleading in this song

When I show you mine
You might run away and hide
When You show me yours
I might close and lock my doors

but we're both the same
we are both the same

Now all these birds are circlin round my head
They can see the blood and know ill soon be dead
But with every ounce of blood left in my veins
I will try to seek the light that still remains

we're both the . same
both the same

we pull each other downt he drain
don't let me go... alone anyway
I dont care if its right or wrong
I just can't help but i'm pleading in this song

that we are both the same

Pure - Of One Source

I dont wanna play music for some bar to sell liquor.
I dont wanna be signed by a label
i don't wanna go on tour
i dont wanna sell rights to my songs
i dont wanna play because i need money
i dont wanna work because i need money
thats capitalism

i wanna wanna use my hands to help people
i wanna sing songs that captivate people
i wanna create form and function
i want to make the world a better place

i will not work a 9-5 job
i will not play a 'gig'
i will not sing at an open mic
i will not let poverty make me use my music to escape it
likewise with other services.

i will not offer a service to help me get paid.

i believe in community

I don't believe people should be forced to contribute to the community
but I believe a community should be made up of contributors
I believe things should be shared - this lightens the burden

shared knowledge
shared services
shared companionship
shared encouragement
shared talents

why should we go to college to learn how to do something?
in a community, we can learn all we need, and have natural discussions as we grow and apply our new skills.

why should we have a nationwhide standard of working 9-5
we should offer help when our community needs it, not to some distant transplanted facility.

why should we pay rent and mortgages on houses
we should share common housing that all have contributed to support through their talents.

why should we be sick?
We have technology to create cheap ways to get things done
It is lawsuits and insurance that make things exspensive
standards of education makes doctor bills high too.

In a world of shared information, we should change our system drastically.

Maybe I am a fascist.

Maybe i am a communist.

Maybe I am an idealist.

or maybe - I'm just an Efficiency Enthusiast.

I live to make pure music.

I live to take pure photographs.

Pure means - of one source.

In modern society, we have many appendages
we have much abuse of system
we have much weakness of communication
while we have a moderately strong internet and computer network

We have an opportunity to study and learn for free using the internet.

This saves trips to the library in a car, and overdue book and dvd fees
This saves the entire cost of schooling
the only thing it doesn't offer is lab experience
So we need that... and it can ber gained through programs within participating and well equipped mainstream fascilities.
We have access to the knowledge... it just needs to be catalogued.
We need to isolate a way to apply and practice for new technicians and practicioners

I'm really brainstorming here.

I have to understand things for me to function

I have to use my mind in order to function with my heart and hands.

I want my productivity to be pure -

to comes from myself and to be fully accounted for.

Its easy to just follow instructions and be obediant and blind to the things of the heart, mechanically stamping out a formula that gets work done for some company and getting paid a fixed income for fixed hours.. usually a full slate.

But I think there is a better way and I am going to dedicate my life to designing it.

Thyristor Flash

Well I spent the day using the auto settings on 2 flashes I have. I've had an opportunity to test out a lot with a digital camera that has an external flash link. This way - it speeds up my experience - no waiting for film to be developed and no running out of money. Tho i always do that too.

Thyristor Flash. This is a standard auto flash sort of thing. It fires and turns itself off when it senses a cirtain amount of light bounced back to its sensor. The only trouble i can imagine is that it doens't know the tones of the subjects in front of it. I think i might have to learn to adjust the appeture up and down to compensate for lighter or darker primary tones in the composition basically. The flash thinks everything is a grey card.

It works really well tho... this auto flash thing.

The technology that has replaced it is TTL (through the lens). This one replaces the on flash sensor with an in camera sensor directly measuring the film plane.

But the older style is cheaper - and pretty good. You can kinda learn how these flashes act and compensate and get a good exposure.

One cool thing about these onflash sensors - or ttl alike, is that you can angle the flash up or straight - and as long as the sensor is pointed towards the subject, the sensor will control the flash to compensate for the subject light.

There are 2 power settings in auto mode on the flash units i have.- they are 2 stops apart. One is configured for f2 and one is for f4 at iso100. you can use f 2.8 as well. But i like having two settings because some subjects dont need as much keying as others.

So I use the flash as a fill sometimes. To do this - i use the more sensitive setting. The more senstive the sensor is, the less light it will allow the flash to throw out.

Or - i can slightly adjust the fstop to a higher number to lower the flash energy through my camera lens. Either way works - i just learned all this today - i took about 300 shots messing with this feature.

I have to try the accent lighting now with the sensitive f2.0 setting now.

---

ok tried it for a couple hours.

Problem - the auto sensors get thrown off by multiple flashes.

back to the drawing board.

Simple Manual 35mm Photos

Here's a couple pieces of 35mm film that I hand developed and took a digital pic of with my pocket digital through a 8x magnifying eyepiece.

First pic is my friend Amanda.




Second pic is a symbol we saw on a tapestry that her friend wanted to get a tattoo of, so i took a quick pic of it

Three Innovative Photos

I have a couple of images i wanted to share that show what i'm playing around with lately. i'm poor... and i do all i can with what I have... its called being efficient, and somewhat neurotic, idealistic, lazy.

This pic was from experimentation with strobes. See a site on this - strobist.com

[100 iso, f8, 1/15 shutter, full flash @ gn74 plus a rosco filter] - I placed my flash inside this table and took a time delayed shot of myself with the flash triggered. I put a green gel on the filter. The effect looks kind of futuristic to me. If not futuristic, it looks like im being visited by aliens from a planet with very nice light diffusion techniques.

I have another photo I'd like to show as well.
This one was done with another lighting technique known as light painting.
The picture was taken at night with a long shutter speed and a moving flashlight was used to illuminate the subject at close range. (35mm camera)

I placed the negative in an 8x loop and in front of my flash. I placed a piece of white paper behind the flash to bound a large white area of light towards me, and then placed a piece of white paper between myself and the flash, and put the digital camera lens up to the 8x magnifying loop and negative and autofocused, and took a flash photo.

I am looking forward to doing more photography of this nature in the near future. Perhaps I'll take advantage of the snow at night to give me more reflecting surfaces to play light painter with.

I want to carry around a flash and leave my camera on a tripod in the open shutter mode while i go around flashing various color filtered flashes all over the forest. It will look as tho the entire forest was lit up like a fantasy land. The ground, the trees, and whatever i find... maybe even the water and a person.

The last picture makes use of a shoot through white umbrella. The umbrella was below me with the convex outside facing up towards my face. I put a tungsten light under it in a special adapter bracket/arm that attaches to the umbrella shaft... and put a shoe mount flash to the right of the camera on a light stand with a home made snoot that controls the light a little and makes a shadowy frame around the subject. I had to try a few times with the digital to ballance the ambient tungsten make-shift soft box with the flash. i ended up ballancing the white for tungsten and allowing the flash to appear blueish like a window light in this one. If this were a film camera, I would have had to use a blue color corection filter over the lens since the film would have probably been ballanced for sunlight.

Begining from the General

Life never seems to stop to let people on or off.

Ok that's a little too philosophical for this blog - this is supposed to be industry oriented... not wierd ... tho musicians are always wierd, the industry is not. The industry is a big sucky normal part of life that has to do with lots of hard work, money and staying involved in the scene.

Anyways - I wanted to talk a little bit about my music. For those of you who have not heard my music - click here to open up my playlist in your player

If you dont know, i have been very adventurous in exploring different styles. I've done styles such as theatrical symphonic, jazz quartet, bluegrass band, gospel, stripped down side show circus, bossa nova, rootsy blues and folk, IDM.

I needed to create this blog to help me deal with all the different things i have going. I need to organize my lyrics, and my ideas, and have an organized, easy place to focus my theories and concepts into a recorded medium... being this blog.

I've written several dozens of songs. Some i have memorized and some I do not - while others, I have not finished. I'm going to take time to organize my lyrics, and supply additional information about them. This is an information age and poeple like to be able to get deep into an artist's work and I'd like to take that opportunity to offer a deeper look at what my music is about.

I haven't always written the same style as far as my lyrics go. I started out very general, and not very interesting.

In the following blogs, I'll talk about specific songs, most likely starting with the ones that need attention the most.

Sound and Vision Intro

welcome to my industrial blog

this blog is about my music and photography

one key feature of this blog is my complete music library
there you will find all of my songs complete with lyrics, mp3's and my comments on each song. This is a work in progress but there is already content there to enjoy and explore. This resource is really good to keep me organized and moving ahead. I have so many songs it can get overwhealming so this helps me. Also feel free to comment on any of the pages here.

(added recently-) I haven't logged into this blog in quite a while but here i am again. I think its a great way for me to stay organized and to think, and speak etc and lets not forget... a way to get feedback from others. My photography is in the forefront of my work these days instead of my music right now... will be posting new pics soon. Also I'll be making a nice photo website of my galleries and favorites.