Argus C2

bought some new cameras, and found a new girl. This was shot not too far from where i'm staying. its not the best location but it somewhat secluded for this area. I really need to find more areas nearby. its not really easy around here. Its pretty suburban and all. This was at a park.

I got 3 old cameras from someone. Two of them work and one i got for free and can't yet get it to work but its a cool camera if i can get it working. I learned that some of the parts in the cameras can be taken out and thrown away and the camera will still work.

This show was taken with an Argus C2 which is a design from about 1939 or so.

The other camera i just got seems pretty good - i really like it so far, i just messed up when i was testing it out and plugged my flash into the wrong hole :( i thought red meant "important" but it really just meant nothing. i should have plugged into the black x not the red m. Once again - back to the drawing board. I need to keep testing myself till i pass these tests. Thank god for these muses who appreciate the artistic process and pizza.

The Truth Comes Out

Hand to Mouth

All i really wanted to do was hook my ipod up to some small speakers so i could watch youtube videos without being tethered to headphones. I failed. I had about 12 different adapters and plugs and none of them would connect or work with my computer speakers. Bad luck - thats what it is.

I've had a lot of bad luck lately. You could say i'm lucky to have what i have, in spite of all my terrible problems, but it doesnt change that i have lost so very much, due to trusting people. This has always been my fault - to trust others too much.

Its my nature to trust.

The truth is, when people need something from you, they tell a good story and they put on a good act, and they even concince themselves of their own worthiness or your trust. But when you are the one in need, and you dont lie and put on a front, then you become a repulsive leper and noone will touch you or help you - why because they are afraid they will fall down with you, and in many cases this is true.

But I've lost it all, due to trusting people, over and over until the very last things i held dear were destroyed. I can't live a life without trust. this would mean i would have no heart.

I have no heart.

It's happened. I no longer trust anyone. I dont expect anything from anyone. I dont love anyone. I dont have any hopes for anyone. I dont have faith in the human race. I dont have faith in any gods. I dont have faith in my parents, or any so called friends. Because they have all collectively been my ruin. yes i am smarter now, but my spirit is destroyed.

I have a lot of talents, all wasted. When you have no spirit, you have nothing.

I'm not emo, i dont think its attractive to be a failure. I am a writer. I write about what i know. End of story.

I will always be at odds with my world and with my culture. Until it makes sense to me. When I am wrong, i rejoice to have learned something new.

Noone can tell me otherwise or convince me that this life is not a scam.

However in other news. In spite of my heavy weight on my shoulders every day, i intend to move ahead. I have a strong sense of integrity and value my time. I will crawl forward if its all i can do. I refuse to sit and die. It just hurts and its so hard to start over with nothing. again and again. because i wont go to sleep and buy into the american dream.

Raccoons and Cave Men

Do Raccoons Like Working?

They dont have 9-5 jobs thats for sure...

9-5 is a great time to be busy - its good for you - especially if you are out and about in the elements and fresh air and sunshine.

No job is easy. I don't think anyone really wants an easy job. I think we all want a challenge that we can rise to meet and be proud of and prove our work and our value.

Raccoons arent lazy but they would never have a 9-5 job. They are too random, and busy to sit at a desk.

But raccoons get a lot done. They survive. They aren't like squirrels that have a system for everything, they are more just like random scavengers that tear up everything and say "dont mess with me" all day (or night) long.

Birds are kind of like 9-5ers. They have a short list of foods they need to gather and process, and they get up early and go to bed early. They are very vocal and social and have skinny busy legs.

But raccoons dont have a set plan - they have no idea what they are going to do. They just do whatever impulse comes. They can't help it, but it works for them. Why change.

also today...

I propose a new code.

Since we have managed to separate ourselves so far from nature, a key or code for what parallel meanings all the things we do are the equivalent to in nature.

for example:

watching tv | watching a campfire
getting in your car to go to work | going up the mountain to steal eagle eggs
suing each other | raping and pillaging other tribes you find along your journey
going on vacation | going on a spirit walk
mopping and dusting | sweeping the dirt cave floor with fir tree boughs
shutting all the windows and doors in the house | rolling the stone in front of the cave
eating fast food | eating berries that birds have shit on
paying for insurance | being very careful and prepared and innovative
paying taxes | sharing your extra belongings with your community
riding an exercise bike | not even cave men had something so dumb

Launch Day

img102p2
Originally uploaded by mojokiss

so i like this image because of most all of the images i shot this day, this one had what i like most - a nice head shot with great eyes, colorful funky hair, shaved head features, tattoos, piercings, skinny, drawn on eyebrows, sky, clouds, sunset colors, latex, and soft strobe.

the film i used however was very bad, cheap film.

Eff

eff-big
Originally uploaded by mojokiss

Currently I feel and know that i am growing. In my photography, my general well being, and in my lifestyle habits. I'm getting up early in the morning now. I'm eating pretty good. Dad has a garden and i have been eating out of it. My images are making progress with film. I'm getting really into shooting with natural light and working with new types of compositions and concepts mixing nature shots and still life shots with model shots. This will be ongoing.

Today i am set to go to a few events. One is to play at a friends dads birthday party and the other is a party for local artists. I might even hook up my sewing machine to tailor a tshirt to wear since i dont have any clothes left from traveling and moving so much.

I'm finding that the more i do the things i like, the less i care what others think, also i know in time if i do what i like, everything else will follow suit and work around me, because i stand my ground. People usually take the path of least resistance unless they are visionaries and pioneers. Those people are ok too, because they usually respect those who are like themselves.

This photo is recent and an example of my new work.

Spring is Sprung

Porcelain
Originally uploaded by mojokiss

I just had a revelation while being in a half sleep half wake state. I don't know what it means except that for me, its the uncovering or shining new light on something simple that has always been near me and around me.

I just randomly saw a ring in my imagination. It was joining two strings or ribbons and being demonstrated as a tool. I considered it a tool all at once. Then I was delighted by the novelty of pursuing the idea of a ring as a tool. It seemed in a single notion, to be as universal as the wheel, or even the sun and moon and earth and the universe itself. Now that i think of it, hasn't it been speculated and calculated that the universe is in the shape of a ring?

In any case, the next thing i thought of was to ask the question, in my dazed state, what other things are shaped like a ring that can be used as a tool, and of course i thought of the wheel, as mentioned, and then I thought of a spiral staircase, of all things, which is not shaped like a ring unless you view it from above. And this made me think of a spring shape. A spring is also a tool. Its a piece of metal or flexible material that bends while being in the shape of a spiral. At first this wasn't too amazing to me, but then i was interested in the word meanings of all this. I meditated on the letters and realized, which is apparent already in this writing, to the reader, that RING, SPRING and SPIRAL have commonalities grammatically. But there is another which makes it even more personal.

SPIRIT
SPEAK
SPIN

and we compare that to:
-RING
SPRING
SPRINT
SPIRAL

SPIRITUAL VORTEX

A spiral staircase carries you up one step at a time in a ring or spinning fashion.

DNA - the double helix - is a vortex. It is a spinning spirit spiral created by god speaking - made of sugars... mayby ASPARTAME hahaah

so enjoy that word study - i know I do. I feel this has been a revelation that i will not every forget. Its a link (which is also a ring) that continues my older forms of thought and revelation having to do with INSPIRATION which is also derivative of "ring" because it was convoluted from the word spirit/spring/ring

other similar sounding words with meaning:

Super
Sample
Sapien
Supply
Sharp
Stamp
Supple
(these are all somewhat a stretch)

Thinking of SRING as a season and how it is a spiral upward with spiritual growth and activity where the DNA of plants and animals is spiraling madly to be formed and reformed and reproduced.

-me

Show and Tell

lose lose lose

jenn mosoleum
Originally uploaded by mojokiss

28mm on 35mm

HI - so man - im like... SICK of a lot of stupid stuff..

like - so many things i used to put stock in im finding are just meaningless.

underneath it all, where is the soul?

now im left looking for things that are meaningful all over from the start.

so many things are fake - people and appearances are fake -

CONTRIVED

-people who arent so much into what they are doing for the love of it - but for the money and fame.

Its not for me.

I dont mind being famous or known - it is something that comes and goes and can be bad or good, but to work just for fame and money while trying to appear to be the best, even when you know, you aren't or when you know you're just posing, faking, marketing, and working on your public image, its sickening to me at this point.

You'll notice my logo is getting smaller. eventually ill phase this out into a less stylized logo, and eventually just put something in my images to let you know its my image, and not sign them at all.

Art is hard. You can't fake it - not to the people who can think and discern for themselves.

Right now.. i want to skip and not go to a major event i am slated for. it would be the wimpy thing for me to not go - honestly i dont have the money to go. And i dont really want to be in the middle of all the fakeness... i dont wanna see it and i dont wanna be looked at... i dont wanna be pulled this way and that by models. I like photographers... they are sometimes some really great people - and i have some good friends who are also models.

But at this point, its overload... i dont want and cant handle any more models in my life. They bring a lot of drama sometimes - and i can't handle any more of that. And on top of that, the business side of girls and alt wars... is something i am not remotely interested in any more, or perhaps was ever interested in.

I liked the idea of shooting cool interesting and pretty girls and getting recognized for it and paid.. but now those girls arent cool interesting or pretty to me, and the fame is useless and the money is not worth the effort and bulk effort required. so its a lose, lose lose situation.

All I have left, is my art. Myself, my journey. I have not arrived and i will never arrive, i have no destination, just movement, and i choose to move away form anything stupid.

Wood and Water

ipodstand 016
Originally uploaded by mojokiss

Does everyone burn the same amount of wood per year?

Maybe wood isn't burned much.

It IS a little outdated.

But i know that oil has been burnt for some time now.

Give me oil in my lamp. I believe a genie lamp was just an old form of lighting with oil

So - I wonder if everyone burns the same amount of oil - instead of wood.

Like - a guy who is ship wrecked on an island, and a girl who lives in a castle. I wonder if they burn the same amount of oil... er - wood.

Well the girl might burn oil as wood but the guy might only burn wood - but then, the guy might be able to burn oil - if he can find any - but why would he? whats the point of burning oil over wood? or wood over oil?

how warm would a fireplace be if it just burned oil? It would be a very different chestnut roasting experience and would make for some silly classic paintings. Perhaps wood burning in a fireplace is very wasteful. I'm not really sure.

I do feel that a cast iron wood burning stove heats a house more efficiently. In fact - its interesting that as of late, i have heard stories of some people still using them to heat their house - only they need wood. Why doesnt oil work in a wood burning stove? I still dont get it -

It would seem that a man living in a tropical island might need less wood to burn for heat. And the girl living in a castle would need more wood for heat if it was in a cold part of the world. I also hear that castles are drafty and very inefficient. I would speculate they are more for military strength than for comfort... Or for aristocratic sensationalism. And perhaps, use more wood.

But the man on the island may need more wood to build and rebuild his shelter. He may tho, use his shelter wood as firewood after it becomes useless as shelter wood and so use it efficiently. But if he makes an oven, in the ground, with stones, this would be even more efficient for his conservation of wood because the heat would not escape into the air.

Why dont we all burn wood in our homes? It makes a lot of smoke. It takes up a lot of space, its heavy and hard to move. People dont really even use oil, they use natural gas to heat. But not for light. For light they use electricity.

I heard there was a law proposed that all US citizen would have to use only florescent bulbs by the year 2014 - it was on youtube and was filmed in the house of the senate of something. It talks about how all florescent replacement bulbs are made in china... i wonder if this is how we will pay china back our debt. I wonder if this was the plan all along at least in part.

I'm still a big fan of kinetic energy. This is energy that has to do with an object in motion or potentially in motion. You can store it in the form of a rotating cylinder underground. there is no waste except in the form of friction heat, which is fine. Kinetic energy can be exchanged for a few different applications such as mechanical to psi, electrical, etc

There is a saying "Cut Wood and Carry Water" I was told this when i was hanging out with kung fu practitioners. This is not a lesson - its more of a question. How do you cut wood and how do you carry water? We all do it... or someone does it for us. How do we do it? We are all accountable for our own use of energy and materials. And all materials are gained through energy, whether we are nomads and feed ourselves to journey to a cave, then the cave is gained through the food we eat, or if someone brings us sticks, then they have afforded the food to move their feet to bring us those sticks, and we pay them for their food so they can bring the sticks. But to pay them for the sticks we need to pay also for our own food so that we can work and gain the money or goods to give to the person bringing us the sticks.

Did you know - toxins can pollute rain clouds and then can fall on farmland and food land and ruin the soil so that food can not be produced and this way, pollution directly causes food prices to rise. I believe the longer we pollute, the more we will pay for food, to the point that food becomes a luxury.

This would not be a problem if we all had land, because we could all farm on our own land, but in an economic crisis, especially long term, we are stuck because of property taxes, we will not be able to afford to live on our own land, unless we have money. Is this right, good and fair? Perhaps there should be exceptions made for times when the economy is bad. I dont think everyone should always have to pay proper tax. Luxury tax, i can fully understand - even sin tax, because these are things we do not need. But taxing our very homes and the land we live on, is something i think would be ridiculous in hard times, in fact, NOW. So how can we feel safe anywhere... secure anywhere? We know that in desparate times, we are all going to end up homeless regardless of if we own our land or not. you will hear "you arent paying your property tax, so we are going to take your home and youll just have to live somewhere else" and just leave you on the street.

food for thought

What if there were a special way to grow food in a way that you didnt need sunshine, water or dirt or even land? This would be pretty cool huh? So how close can we get to this? Because food is important and what is our plan B if we have a food shortage like africa? And why do so many people live in these hungry places? not to be mean but - why arent they just all dead? Why are they always seeming to just be so hungry and skinny for years and years now? Is this just something that happens once in a while and they just get really skinny over there like once every 3 years?

I also wonder if the "global warming crisis" is just a ploy to keep china from producing too much industry, and to create more jobs for regulators... and other political reasons. I dont know - but its got to be a part of the allied talks and such - to the point that its a shared agreement to monitor and try to control the output of polution and waste.. etc etc. It just seems very strange to me - yes of course we want to waste less, but why is it so stylish amongst political leaders now?

I wish that i could just reach out when i was hungry and be able to grab some food whenever i wanted it without having to pay for it.

Why does food cost money? Because it costs energy. It takes effort to produce and process. There is a limited supply, and it has to be shipped and packaged and inspected and regulated and sometimes taxed. Much food that is produced is also rejected and thrown out or lost to pest and freezing and drought. This drives up the price and value of food as well.

I want to feel more secure - i want to be able to make my own food, my own energy and my own way of life, the way i want to - that is all i want in life. I dont want to shout or fight - i just want to have what i need and not be a slave to anyone. I really dont think slavery is good. I wonder why the indians didnt become a part of america, and become citizens. Maybe it was the language barrier. That didnt stop us from having slaves... why didnt we make slaves of the indians? they were closer, they were savages in the minds of the founders... right? why did we go all the way to africa??? why didnt we just make slaves of each other? just go outside with a net and catch random people and say - BAM you're my slave now - but dont worry i dont give beatings and you'll get a nice bed. just stay away from my women.

Well if i have to pay property tax, I AM A SLAVE. And if all my options to make and provide my own food and my own shelter and energy are removed, then I AM A SLAVE! Also, my value as a human being, or as anything is lowered, and i am expendable and used only as a tool by the system or i am forgotten and locked away.

So I want to be free - and have security - not in the system, but in my own abilities, and my own resources. Why are so many regulations being passed every day that make it next to impossible to exercise direct self provition and creativity? Because we are being trapped to only be able to recieve from a source that is separate and above us... and it is getting this way more and more and our value is becoming less and less and so is our learning and power as a people, as a person, as a creative, thoughtful individual

Some Guitar with Mojokiss in Pajamas

Major Test

first of all - this is my "style" which is important for this topic







[INTRO] this is a spontaneous "paper" that i just sat down to write based on a very profound and epic lighting test i just did in the interest of switching my style from digital to film and needing to know what the eff im doing in my film camera. I want to see what my style would look like on film so i have thrown all of my assets into my film efforts...

[BODY]

OK so my mojokiss style is a shot exposed for sky and then filled in with a soft strobe for key light all taken place usually just before or after sunset. If before, i may shoot with the sun at a 45 degree off view, or after with the sunset in full view.

So I've been in a huge transition i actually sold my digital and have been getting into film in away that i am learning to use strobes, and a sekonic light meter. This has been a costly and sometimes ridiculous adventure. I have not had many good shots come out - while shooting film and/or being "on the road". I've acquired and lost costly gear, and have shot some half as stuff i wasn't proud of, and left a lot of friends and models disapointed, at their expense, i am learning new things.

I have/had lost nearly every cruicial piece of gear i need lately to shoot, so i have not really been shooting except experimentally with unorthodox very non-mojo methods. This is worth something, but not very exciting for my supporters and fans. So I went to home depot and low's nearly ever day last week building solutions to replace hear i had lost. Tonight I tested out that gear but only with my light meter and i have some interesting "numbers" to share in th form of my camera and my technique that i feel strongly will prevail - and the problems i have run into on the way.

[THE LIGHT TEST]

about 10 minutes AFTER sunset - no clouds

reflect metered the sky at 45 degrees from the western horizon

at iso 100 and f2 i got about 1/80 or so

so to achieve f2 i set my strobe at lowest power with a decent sized reflector umbrella tested at 3 feet from the back of my strobe

note - test ambient first with desired fstop and then set your strobe as desired to suit. adjust settings as needed achieve a functional shutter speed

so that was my goal there - to shoot at f2 - so that is why i have gathered these numbers on the scale of f2

[SCENARIOS]

Now - what if i didnt wanna shoot at 10 minutes after sunset? I would have to up my shutter speed first as high as it would sync and then follow that with my fstop upwards of 5.6 or so - and then my light would follow that by powering it up to perhaps full power because its a weak light. So this gave me the notion of dong my deeper depth of field or "mojo shots" just before sunset because they would be more suited to a tighter fstop such as f5.6-f8 and then I could change my lens and put on my 50mm f2 lens for the later shots, but still operate handheld at about 1/60th and shoot more shallow dof stuff but still have perfect ballance of exposed sky and proper key light

[PROBLEMS WITH STYLE]

the main problem with this style is whatever is not directly struck by sunlight or strobe comes out almost black. In negative pro film, this isnt as huge of an issue as it is with slide film or the average affordable digital camera, because of lattitude issues. A multi thousand dollar camera will give detail to these dark areas that you can pull out in the post production. So one solution for me is to get as much sky as possible in my images and as little landscape as possible (because after sunset it doesn't get any direct light except for what is reflected from the atmosphere and it usually isnt enough for most cameras) So this is why the use of small features near the model works so well, as they can be illuminated by the strobe and give support to the model and shape to the composition and can be controlled by the artificial light. The sky can be controlled as well, so all elements can be controlled in this way. This is why beach shots work out so well - because the water reflects the sky and appears to be illuminated but you are really only looking at the sky in this way. The sand can become very dark if you are too far from the water because you can only see the sand at times, when illuminated by flash this late in the day.

[BACKLIT SUBJECTS]

I love when the sun is in the hair and on the edges of the body of the model blended thoughtfully with the soft key light of the strobe. Usualy this back light comes out looking about perfectly exposed if the ambient light and shutter are exposed for the blue in the sky to be middle grey or so. This is hard to do before sunset because the sky has such a high dynamic range its impossible to capture. So before sunset you have to "look away" from the sun without getting the model to turn her head into it. So i have to turn the camera 45 degrees off - OR put the sun directly behind the models head and shoulders to replace the overly dynamic parts of the sunlit sky with her perfectly lit body. Either way, i always light to put the lights at polar opposites of each other producing the softest shadows between the sun and strobe on the models face and body. (just look at headhunters work)

[SUMMARY]

Since I am shooting film, all this has to be metered and its a crazy dynamic environment where when one light or setting changes, they all change. So I am going to set up two scenarios as landmarks and failsafes for me to stick with and deviate from as needed.

all are iso100 and 35mm film plane with subject 3 feet from back of light pointed into a reflector umbrella:

Before Sunset:

28mm prime f8 1/125 adjust strobe to highest power and shoot as early before actual sunset as my light power will allow. shoot till 5 min after sun sets. the sky will get darker in the images - let it, or adjust shutter speed to around 1/60 for some shots before changing lenses and strobe power

After Sunset:

50mm prime Nikkor f2 and lower strobe power about half with a shutter of 1/125 down to 1/15 as desired finally ending with strobe powered all the way down for the final shots and perhaps use a tripod for the last 4-8 shots or so if using 36 exposures.

notes on long shutter speeds:

(to avoid bad shutter drag and blur when unwated)
hand held - 1/60 and above
tripod with model 1/15 and above

I wanted to share this to see what conversation, support and opinions it might spark.

my film scanner

my film scanner
Originally uploaded by mojokiss

I love this thing. It does a lot for me. I have a lot of issues with my workflow and this thing is not one of them. it works. it works very very very WELL!!!!!!

Now i have to get better at getting rid of blur in my 35mm images. I drag my backgrounds way too much. Sometimes they bleed over the model/subject and reveal the strobe exposures and they become really fake or ugly looking mistakes.... i dont like it. I suppose i could use a tripod. That would get rid of a lot of my issues.

I have so many issues. Location, feeling motivated, feeling that my shoots live up to my expectations. Shooting nudes or fancy wierd pics inside a hotel room is what im all into. Its so easy. You are so free and can do so much - youre happy. I have never shot in a hotel, well once in clearwater. What did i do with those images? I wish they were film.

I just wanna start over. I wanna get out there and shoot like i used to shoot - just shoot every single day. Whats wrong with me? Whats happening to me? Something is so very very wrong and i need to fix it now.

Im a loser... everyone knows this. Thats one of my problems. I have failed at everything i have ever touched.

Now is a very hard time for me. I dont even know or understand why. But i'm about to get so sick of it that im about to explode!

mojokiss - porcelain

mojokiss - porcelain
Originally uploaded by mojokiss

not as glamorous as it looks... but she is amazing! but i am not supposed to care.

my blackberry wine pal

my blackberry wine pal
Originally uploaded by mojokiss

so i lived in this place for like a few months. I really needed a place at the time - and i put this bulletin out on myspace. malissa replied and said they had a garage. I went and checked it out and moved in pretty much right away. It had electric but no water. bugs were free to travel in and out as well. Eventually i was visited frequently by many friends and new models. They would be surprised at what a little shit hole i lived in, but expressed appreciation for its charm.