Princeton, NJ

Lyrics - Accidentally Happy

I accidentaly got happy today
It was a mistake and now i must pay
Please wont you help take this two edged smile
out of myheart its tearing me apart

when i step up a step and i fall
its no real big trip not at All
but when i am flying too high
my wings turn to ashes and
I fall hard...

I accidentaly stepped into my way
i stumbled and fell
on my brand new day
someone was trying to clean up my room
and when i awoke
i started to fume

two new poeple inside me are both there
fussing and fighting
on who will take over all of my
rare fine treasures I'm hiding for only one

Lyrics - Whiskey Girl

Come a little closer whiskey girl
Share my bottle and share my world
you know it aint no crime and it aint no sin
for you to take a little drink of my whiskey again

black eye liner and thats not all
with your boots on girl you're 6 feet tall
never seen you stumble never seen you fall
when you're drinkin up the last of my alchohol

take a swallow and wipe your mouth
set downt he bottle and wear me out
with your two tone eyes and your two tone skin
take a little drink of my whiskey again

etc

Lyrics - Comfortable

Bm--------------------------Em--------------------
I'm so comfortable when I'm wearing rugged clothes
-----------A----------------Bb-------------Bm-
That are strong yet that can also bend with me
Bm-----------------------Em--------------------
I like how I look when my hair is out of place
------------------------A-----------D no 3rd
and it doens't look like it was freshly cleaned
-----------G------------------F#----------Bm
I don't like wearing what successful people wear
E--------------------------A----------
shirt tucked in a tie and executive hair

Dm7 - Fmaj7 - Bbmaj7
Dm7 - Fmaj7 - Bbmaj7 - A

I'm so comfortable when I'm sitting on a plane
sepparated from the sadness down below
I'm a happy man when i meet a little girl
looking for some sugar dad to take her home

I've learned so many things about myself
Getting from point A to B is only tha beginning

Dm7 - Fmaj7 - Bbmaj7
Dm7 - Fmaj7 - Bbmaj7 - A

I'm so comfortable when I've got something to do
Just enough so i don't look like im a creep
I'm a happy man when i got a little sack
full of things you cannot buy on any street

I walk a line most poeple cannot see
remember while in public i shouln't talk to me

the day im satisfied all the little girls will turn into violins
the day im satisfied all the wedding bells will melt from their stands
the day im satisfied i'll be a lying cheating lunatic
I'll grow my sideburns out to the ends of my shoulders
i'll go around saying do you like my skin tight sky blue polyester bell bottoms?
do ya? well doooo ya?
weelllllll
howl at the moon baby!
howl at the moon!

Lyrics - My Camera

My Camera see's 3 dimensions
The light and dark the color image
when something ends when its beginning
my camera is so subjective

but my head is where all emotions lie
till proceeding from my mouth open wide
to become a part of another mind
till the camera snaps with another wind

I saw some kids in like for some fries
I saw their skin before the inside
they sat around the table with me
as family without questioning

then one of the children spoke of that white guy
and was corrected by one he was seated by
you shouln't call a person by the color white
or any other trait to set them aside

In my head is where all emotions lie... etc

comment - what i saw in the dark

this is a heavy song - the title refers to when you dream - in the dark - and when light comes and you wake up, its hard to remember what you dremt - and its applied to my life with my ex-best friend and ex-first love, etc.

It starts out talking about some music that shannon gave me to learn so i could help her make her album, etc. and I wasn't really into it since she was seeing my ex best friend that she broke me up with.

What I Saw In The Dark

I sat and listened to your songs
But I woulnd't sing along
Cause the feeling was so wrong
while the microphone was on

I'm supposed to play the part
but I have a hurting heart
everytime i try to start
reasembling your art

there's a face i always see
he has made things hard for me
while I'm trying to be free
of that constant memory

I used to have a heart for him
He was trusted as a friend
But all he wanted was to win
Well let's let the games begin

I'm drifting away more and more every day
Like so many clear skies when summer rains come
like parts of a child they're never the same
when seasons come and take them away

Like last night's dream it's breaking apart
Now my eyes cannot see what I saw in the dark

Morbid curiosity Manic concepts running free
We were shaking like a leaf My amps buzzing like a bee
and it will never be alright I will always have to fight
find a way to sleep at night keep that image out of sight

I'm drifting...

MMMMM LATTE

i dont really know what to type about but i haven't written in a while - you get typos and all this time. i got a storage space in manhattan. thats good news. it was lucky that i was able to get it. it took all my money at the time tho.

life for me right now as usual is hand to mouth - someone or something provides me with places to stay every night however. Since i put my things in storage it has really freed me up with more energy to walk, and to even stop and relax with less on my mind.

I love subways. I love trains. I love meeting strangers. I like to sit int he subway and let my train pass several times just to have a chance to sit still for a while and to have a chance to meet people - and observe people. I really enjoy this as a daily practice. I have met some awesome poeple underground.

But yeah - life is going one day at a time. It revolves around being online in coffee shops.

Mostly I wanted to mention the storage unit. Its officialy my first place in manhattan and its 4feet and 4feet by 4feet.

I have a feeling i need to get some crazy clothes for hangin out in the subway.

can't think of anyting else to say - gonna drink my latte and chat and whatever

Couches

I just know i'll make this a lot harder than it should be. I have a lot to write about and i really need to try to capture my experiences so I can look back at them with detail.

I'll start with right now. Its almost noon, on a wednesday in the west village, manhattan. I am on a couch in an eleventh floor apartment. The sky outside the open window behind me is overcast and the traffic far below is more soothing than harsh. The distance makes the sound more diffuse and the sounds impact my ears without integrity or form. I can see why some choose to live up high.

I got to this place last night. I was in the Dunkin Donuts on 2nd and 11th in the east village - they have free wifi. As usual, I didn't know where i was gonna stay that night and i was broke. I ended up getting a hold of a new friend who had offered me a place to stay for a couple nights. He said to come on down. I got lost on my way and keep in mind i was loaded with all my things and traveling by foot. I went way too far. Eventually i found his place and was really happy to be in a nice safe peaceful comfortable apartment for the night. I slept well and now I'm still reclined on this couch.

I've stayed on several couches recently. First it was Boston. I stayed with a friend, Careese for a month or so. It was around August. We were actually in Caimbridge. She had 13 les paul guitars. She was a dancer. I still keep in touch and she treated me very well while I was her guest and I was very grateful. We had some laughs plus she helped my portfolio out a lot which i still benifit from to this day. Then I was in NJ - wait... i should say first, the way i got to boston was by delivering a car. I brought up all my music and photography stuff... and a laptop. I even got paid by a passenger who helped me drive. He knows who you are and thanks goes out to him.

Ok so then i was in NJ and stayed on a couch after some party. I left the very next day and the host was displeased with me, so i heard. I really didn't understand it, because we had good conversation. I heard it was because I didn't say thank you. Then i was at lorianns boyfriend's house a while in the Montclaire area. For a couple days I slept in a storage unit in the basement. After leaving, i heard that the whole basement filled up with toxic fumes and someone said I would have died. But by this time, I was in a new place in NJ called Maplewood. I remember coming home the first day from the train and getting lost. I ended up having to sleep under a bush behind a law office just because i didn't have a phone on me or the address or phone number or last name of the person i was staying with. All i needed was to get online and i would have been fine - but the police station in south orange said they dind't have internet. I walked for a good 15 hours that day total because i was walking around with a friend earlier. At that point pain took on a new dimension. Well at the NJ house there was a dog and a bird. I stayed there for a month or so. Then I went to Princeton and stayed with Kent for a few days. Then i went to Manhattan and stayed with Lelah for a few days. Then Maplewood for a night and grabbed my guitar and some extra clothes and dropped off some things i just dind't need. Then back to Manhattan and hugn out till i got here where i am right at the moment of writing this.

Next I'll stay with Alex for a night or maybe two in Brooklyn. I'm also going back to Princeton for maybe 2 days or so.

I'm workin on my booking for shooting - as well as some music things.

Well I wrote about my couches and now I can go and do something else. You know - i have done a lot more than just slept on couches. I've actually done OTHER STUFF. This entry is focused on couches tho.

Safer Child

she'll turn back into her child
when things get too grown up
trim you like a paper doll
soon she'll hang you up

and i become a ragedy andy
with his eyes open wide
a red yarn smile to compensate
the emptiness inside

children bend (iv) (melody is in minor: #4 5 1
they never break (i) #5 5 b3 (2,1)
just pretend (v)
the pain was fake (v)

the curtains fall (iv)
the act completes (i)
you leave resentment (i, ii7b5 (3 2 1 #5.. 5)
in your seats (4 2 1)

things dont change outside her
just everything within
cause when she finds her pediatric mind
thats when the show begins

she takes her joy from nearby toys
she makes her toys from nearby boys
she plays with fire like a friend
forgetting how to unpretend

children bend (iv) (melody is in minor: #4 5 1
they never break (i) #5 5 b3 (2,1)
just pretend (v)
the pain was fake (v)

the curtains fall (iv)
the act completes (i)
you leave resentment (it all) (i, ii7b5 (3 2 1 #5.. 5)
back in your seats (4 2 1)

East Village

I was lucky last night and fortunate. Not only did i find that $20 on the ground, i got some money from my mom and dad... thanks guys! and then the hostel was FULL. So i was like hmph. And all the others were full but i finally found one open - and as i went to head to the subway to drag my bags up and down stairs and all over manhattan, i got a call from Jane and she ended up inviting me to crash at her and her roomates place. It was a real nice treat. I made us dinner and coffee... we cleaned a coffee pot out that had been sitting on top of her fridge for who knows how long and it worked. I boiled up some spinach posta and her roomate threw in some vodka sauce and we ate while exchanging blue humor. It was nice. Then i showered and stayed up on the couch editing photos. Then slept around 5 and got up around 9:30. I'm still waking up and its like 12:20 right now.

I'm included some photos from a recent roll of film. Enjoy!

These were taken in NJ in a "secret" location! The film was Fuji 160 low saturation - 35mm. Used my Nikkormat ftn body with a cheap 28mm lens (2.8).

Princeton

Stayed with a good new friend, Kent. He does lots of music. If you like electronic stuff he's your man. He has his own style which is great. Also I met his buddy Zack today who is into photography and we got along really well. I also found $20 on the ground today. I'm at panera bread right now trying to figure out where im gonna stay tonight. The $20 helps. I'm thinkin of tryin to score a hostel someplace around 13th street or so. We will see how this goes!

My Girl

i touched a girls back while she was reading a book.
my hand touched her warm soft skin
where her shirt wasn't able to cover
i kissed her ear.
and i quietly left.

i missed my girl. the one i had just met
in this place.
this dream land.
shes not far - she never is
but when i see her,
she's never near enough

i went next door and down stairs
howard stern was in his studio
in the next room was a warm gathering of locals
they all played something
they all spoke their own dialect

The girls walked together
the guys worked together and played together
i found my girl here recently
this is how we met

I felt something for her
something i haven't felt in years
I saw eternity
i saw no time at all

I felt something with her
gentle completion of my electrical circuits

the white dog was out catching oysters
he delivered them to me
on the half shell
we left him out at sea

a man was playing upright bass
and hanging from the cieling
and playing a broken cymbal

my girl has red hair and warm soft skin
she electrifies me

More on the love of Film

I got some old pics back today that i took a couple months ago. The above pic was my favorite. There is something about a wide angle view, a short focal range, and 35mm film that makes me very happy lately.

This is another - just kinda cool ya know? I'm just starting out in this whole camera thing - when you are poor like me it takes longer... but it gives me lots of time to think.

My New Picture Gallery

I made a flash gallery for many of my images. I'll have to be sure and get my other images off my other computer back home when i visit and add to it. The pics kinda tell a story - it will be a growing and changing gallery.

The More Things Stay the Same

Computers always fuck up
I always fuck up too.

Whats up -

So I'm listen to the radio show i made last night

I've decided to get the hell back to Tampa Bay

why?

Because I'm worn out and things are much too inefficient here.

Maybe its the competition -

The close proximity of people all competing to be heard, known, fed, safe.

You would think a community would strive by coming together, not by competing...

But competition makes for skilled and specialized members.

So is that what we have today? -

yeah skilled... skilled at filling out resumes.

Anyways -

I'm just on a one track thought - back to Florida but first i have a few things i have to do.

There were some models that wanted to shoot with me.

And i have to meet with my friend Kent first too and get some pics with him probably and make a little page for him on here.

Well.

I'm gonna take the train to Tampa.

It's like $150 with baggage.

I can bring 250 pounds of stuff ... so i'll be able to bring most of my stuff and ship the rest.

No worries.

Well. Florida is easier for me.

fake nite radio

I just recorded a 30 minute radio show. Its in my playlist.

To open my playlist click here

Also, the complete list of songs on the playlist are displayed here

Once in a while i like to make these radio shows. I let the recorder run and i sometimes make up voices and scenarios all in the spirit of giving my music an accessible platform.

In this new one - I do a few new songs or some revamped older previously unfinished ones.

I'd be glad to know you listened to the whole thing.

Lets Review, Shall We?

Well, me and loriann hung out today and recorded some of her tunes. she did good and we got it done but the recording skips - cause of who knows - computers are wierd.

Here's some pics from tonight - all digital at low iso - blurry.

I have a couple days left till i head to princeton for a week to hang out with my friend Kent.

Tomorrow i am playing with a band at a place in Brooklyn called the Jalopy theater.

I been drinkin goats milk. I've always liked it.

I got a changer for the cell phone i found today - and it fit and it worked - but i'm taking it back cause the phone service has been turned off. Back to using my old trusty prepay i guess - i have to put some more minutes on it right about now.

I have to get some film out to a client - but the film was really bad quality - i bought it at CVS. I guess the combination of low light and cheap film messed it up. I used a digital for some too - and those were good exposures but mostly out of focus. It was hard - and not the kind of job i think i'll really end of doing much of. I prefer to do more relaxed events where i can experiment... but in all - i should have known better - i should have used my flash on auto and i should have gotten pro film earlier on instead of looking to buy it that day. There was nothing but really crappy film in that part of town that night. I was pretty surprised.

I lost my mind in a open mic at a coffee house the other night. I dont wanna talk about it but i told one blues player to fuck off. I guess I'm turning into my old teacher, frank mullen. If you had him you would understand! He's a world famous instructor.

bomb shell blues

i'm a broken bomb shell
like a rusty double A

I'm a broken bomb shell
worn out like a rusty double A

My fuse is getting shorter
If you want to get any older stay away

I'm a busted fuel tank
and im leaking all around
" "

let this be a warning
dont throw no fire on the ground

I dont blame you for nuthin
theres no time to go back now

" "

but i can't change my condition
this steam engine's going down

i am the homeless preacher

well im a homeless preacher man
I'll kick your ass
and thats the only teachin i can pass

well im a homeless preacher man
the heavenly land
i'll send you there if you push me where i stand

nobody will know just
who put you away
i'll be singin slow
until my final day

take the straight and narrow
and you will find
you'll be alone and you'll be moanin while you cry

i'm the homeless preacher man
you're gonna die
don't step on me i will choke you if you try

nobody will know just
who put you away
i'll be singin slow
until my final day

im the homeless preacher man
i speak out loud
im not your saviour - not pious and not proud

im the homeless preacher man
i'll kick your ass
if i am walkin
you better let me pass

Street Lust

Some good times were had at the halloween parade that the east village started some 30 years ago. It made me wish it could be a masquerade all year round. I love the playfulness and joy of the festivities. I love how it brings the social vibes to life - and people feel encouraged to interact with one another - to celebrate life... and the pursuit of happiness... and time off of work.

Tonight i was invited by my friend Alan to go to the Halloween parade. I had a pretty good time and learned some great new things about fuji film and my automatic flash. I'm really encouraged tonight and i really needed this experience with film to gain my confidence in the medium. I'm more into film now than ever after tonight. It makes me glad to have been so devoted, and it takes devotion - especially this day and age.

I was happy with the quality that the 400 speed fuji film yielded. I bought the film from adorama in manhattan and the film was kept chilled. I have yet to try the 800 and 160 speed but i have rolls of both in the fridge here.

I used my dad's 1967 nikkormat ftn 35mm that he pretty much gave me, and a 28mm 2.8 lens i bought a while back. I've been pleased with all 3 of my lenses to this day very much so far. you can click on the above pic for more detail.



The problems i ran into tonight after the fact, are that i burned the film with my flash being too intense. I should have stopped down and sacrificed background ambience but i really wanted the b/g to look important so i didn't risk it - i was WRONG to do this and I have learned a little more about my flash. If it says to set it at f4. set it at f5.6 and compensate by dropping the shutter down a notch. This gets really scary in low light... when the shutter gets down below 1/30 - and its something i have been meditating on... however i fixed it in photoshop.

My flash has a setting that drops it to a fixed gn of 10 which is 1/8 of the full power. I'm thinking of using this knowledge to lower my flash level and let me open up my apeture a stop more. I might keep handy a neutral filter to calm the flash down a bit - or maybe a warming filter and kill a couple birds at once.

furthermore............

I found a red gel just laying ont he ground tonight - only in nyc does something like this happen on any random day. so i put it over my flash for some shots = goin to get those developed today.


and....

I want to thank alan for all the incredible wonderful support and friendship he has extended to me! thanks alan! you have been a great huge positive intervention in my life lately.

that's him there! he also is my legal advisor and professional listener.